A new view on a familiar feeling

So it's not as easy to give up worrying as I thought.

I didn't have a lot of luck giving up excess desserts either, but perhaps your New Year's Resolutions are going better than mine.

So I've been forced to look at worrying in a new light.

Since it's not to be managed, perhaps it can be appreciated.

Maybe we could just call worrying another word for love.

After all, if you worry about a child it's because you love them, if you worry about driving on icy roads it's because you love life, if you worry about hurting someone's feelings it's because you love them and the relationship you share.

Or we could call it idealism.

If you worry about being late it's because you don't want to disappoint those you are meeting, if you worry about an inadvertent mistake it's because you want everything to be just right, if you worry about losing your memory it's because you don't want to be less than 100 percent at any given time ever.

Or we could call it realism.

If you worry that your new baby is sleeping and eating right it's because you've heard of babies who don't, if you worry about what your teens are doing when they're home after curfew it's because you know what teens can be doing, if you worry about what the latest crisis in the Middle East could bring it's because you've seen what happens with crises in the Middle East.

But I'm going to call it love.

When you're expecting someone and they're late and at first you're calm and then you wonder if you have the right time and then you wonder if they took a wrong route and then you worry that something terrible happened and you plan the future without them and start to feel sorry for yourself to such an extent that when they do finally show up you're downright angry because of the roller coaster you've just been on -- it's worry because of love.

And instead of them shaking their heads because you're mad when they were expecting happy, they might as well just appreciate that your worrying is proof of your love.

The only time worrying gets in the way is if it keeps you inside.

If it keeps you from driving or flying or taking on a new job or growing your family or loving someone else or trying something new or eating something different, then it could be a problem.

Just like ice cream is OK unless you have too much of it.

We all worry. We all want the ideal and are too aware of the real. We all love.

But the least we can do is stop worrying about our worrying.

It's normal, it's natural. It's life.

Don't fight it. Appreciate it.

It's OK.

(This first appeared in the Davis Clipper on Jan. 21, 2016)